it's never too early

I recently had a close friend of mine get married to the love of her life. The wedding festivities came far quicker than I had anticipated - weren't we those mischievous beehives giggling at girls camp just yesterday?! I remember talking and dreaming about one of us marrying a handsome man one day. I just don't think I realized how close that "one day" really actually was.

The night prior to them being sealed together for time and all eternity was their dinner. My friend and I arrived and sat down amongst the bride-to-be and her groom's closest friends and family. I looked around at all of the happy smiles and joyous laughs; everyone introducing themselves and sharing their favorite memory of the special couple. I turned to my friend and said, "I can't believe she's getting married!" (I think it was finally sinking in).

Later on in the evening, the mother got up and shared a sweet memory she had of her daughter, going back to a time when she was just a small child. The setting took place on the grounds of an LDS temple where the young girl exclaimed to her mother: "Mommy, someday I want to be married here just like you and daddy."

Those simple words brought a smile to my face and admittedly a few tears to my eyes. I thought of this now grown woman and how she had known from so early on that she wanted to go inside the temple someday. I'm sure that, at the time this sweet story was taking place, she wasn't aware of all of the covenants and promises that she would one day make inside of this beautiful building. However, she knew it was special and important and lived her life in such a way that would allow her to one day enter inside its doors. And yesterday, she did!

Marrying in the temple has always been a top priority and goal in my life. However, its sat on the back burner as I've focused primarily on school, work, and other hobbies. Now, please don't take this the wrong way - it's definitely always been important! It just hasn't been my main focus as I haven't yet felt the need to necessarily prepare for it. But listening to this mother share such simple, yet profound advice changed my perspective, and no longer is preparing to be married in the temple sitting, just waiting for the "right moment". Because you see: There is no "right moment" to begin preparing to enter the temple. If there has to be a right moment, it's right now.

Harold B. Lee said, "Youth should begin today to so order their lives that they will be found worthy at the proper time to go to the House of the Lord and be uplifted and sanctified by the temple ceremony." (Young Women Manual 2: Lesson 15)

Being part of this very special day with this special friend of mine has helped me to realize that it's never too early to prepare for an eternal marriage. We would all do well to follow in her footsteps by ensuring that we are always worthy to go inside of the temple - whether that's for baptisms for the dead, receiving our endowments, or being sealed to an eternal companion.

And the opposite is just as true - it's never too late to prepare, either. Through the Atonement, we can change and become the individuals we were divinely designed to be. The blessings of the temple are readily available to all those that will willingly receive them. Even if going to the temple may not be an option right now, we can always keep the temple in our sights. Simply having a goal to one day attend the temple can help change our desires and actions and help bring us closer to our Heavenly Father (check this post out).

I am incredibly thankful for a loving Heavenly Father. I know that through the atoning sacrifice of our brother, Jesus Christ, we can obtain all of the blessings He so longs to give us. I love the peace that the temple brings into my life and look forward to one day making the sacred covenants and ordinances necessary to obtain pure joy and happiness in the next life to come.

heather

Mary and I first met when I was a freshman and she was a senior at American Fork high school. We were both members of the marching band; she on the clarinet and I on the flute. Despite knowing each other for years, we didn't really become more than just acquaintances until both of us had graduated. Westlake high school opened up in 2009 and Mary began staffing as the Woodwind instructor the following year. In 2013, I began staffing as well, causing both our paths to cross again. It's been both a privilege and an honor to work with and become close friends with this beautiful and kind woman. She's been an inspiration to many and has changed my life in more ways than she could ever know. And for that I am truly grateful.

{Mary & I - 2013}

On October 10 in 2009, both of our lives were altered. I've written a post every single year since it's happened and I still don't know quite what to say. This year, I decided not only to share my thoughts and feelings, but Mary's as well. It's been interesting to see how the events that transpired that night have helped shape and change our lives in very unique and different ways. As we've taught the students at Westlake we've been able to share our stories and help the legacy of our hero, Heather, live on.

Thank you, Heather.

{American Fork high school WW section - 2009}

The events of that night will never leave my memory - I can remember everything almost perfectly.

I've shared the story time and time again, but I'd like for you to go back with me as we celebrate the six year anniversary, to the day, of the bus crash. We were coming home from our competition in Pocotello, Idaho when our bus driver unexpectedly passed out. Our bus, filled with high school students, was now traveling off of the road.

I still remember being awakened by the rumble strips before feeling the turbulent jerks and jolts from the uneven ground beneath us. I can still see the stark blackness as I struggled to look out the front window of the bus. I remember the pain stabbing through my body as my head hit the roof. I can still hear the piercing sounds of the painful and terrified screams of those around me. 

I remember watching the dust slowly settle as we looked around at each other, eyes filled with emotions ranging from confusion to frightened. The dead silence lasted only a moment before the tears coupled with screams cut through. 

I looked around, unsure of what to do. Neither a word nor a sound escaped my mouth. I tried to sift through our scrambled instruments and bags in an attempt to find my own but had no luck. So I sat completely still.

In front of me were two friends. One was clinging to her face as blood dripped through her fingers and down the side of her cheek; the other held her closely as she tried to control her own tears. I noticed a girl above me try to make her way down from the seat she somehow managed to stay in throughout the accident. Some were trying to find their personal belongings while others made sure those around them weren't badly injured.

I turned to my right and saw a familiar face trying to open the emergency exit window from the outside. We began filing out one by one and made our way to the edge of the road. The flashing lights of the cop cars lit up the dark sky with blue and red.

We clung to each other. Sung together. Prayed together. Cried with each other.

Just a few months prior to this I had contemplated quitting band; which is quite humorous considering just how much it has become a part of my life. Looking back, it seems as if the one thing that kept me going back was this bus accident.

I will never forget the moment Mr. Miller, our band director, informed us that our Woodwind instructor had died. Students later shared their experiences after the accident, explaining they saw Heather stand up and try to control the course of the bus. After police were done investigating, it was determined that Heather had truly saved the lives of each and every one of her high school students aboard bus #2.

Band and music became something I clung to after that night. Almost instantly, a bond was formed between the students that hadn't been there before. Despite our struggles, we became more unified and built each other up - creating a group of people that will never be forgotten.

Throughout my high school years, band became something I loved dearly. Whenever I needed a relief from school or home, I knew band was there. I could play my emotions through my music and found that I loved being able to share a story that only music could adequately express.

The friendships I've gained from my high school and post high school band careers are relationships I both cherish and love. The attributes and lessons I've learned from participating in this activity have helped shape and build me into a hard working and determined individual. I'll forever be grateful for the experiences I've been blessed with as I've lived a life full of music.

As I look back through the years, I can't help but feel completely grateful for Heather and her act of selfless love. If it weren't for the events that transpired that night forward, I know I wouldn't be where I am today.

As briefly mentioned above, I have the honor and privilege of working with some of the most incredible individuals at Westlake high school. I've experienced a small taste of what I'm positive Heather felt for her students while teaching - although I'm sure I'll never know the magnitude of her love. The students, parents, and staff that I've worked and associated with have continued to change my life, just as Heather has. I've learned more lessons from them than I'm sure they have from me.

I've enjoyed continuing to participate in activities and associate with those that help my love of music grow and thrive. It has been an honor to continue to help the legacy and life of Heather Christensen live on as I've followed in her footsteps.

Today I have the opportunity to be with my kids as we present our Pearl Harbor tribute show at USU. It has been bittersweet as we've been able to perform a show similar to that of 2009. I've enjoyed helping my students feel the same things I was able to feel that year.

Heather, words cannot express to you how thankful I am for you. Because of you, I know I'm where I am today. I can't wait to someday greet you again and give you a grateful hug. Thank you for the lessons you taught me, and still continue to today, as I've learned under your guidance and council. Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

{Celebrating after BOA in St. George - 2009}

Dear Heather,

Six years has come and gone, October 10, 2009 seems as though it was a life time ago but I can also remember it as though it was just yesterday. Many people don't have any idea what the significance of that day is, but for me and about 50 of my closest friends we will forever remember it as the day you gave us a new meaning for the word, "hero". You were always someone that I looked up to and greatly admired, you were a super star, you knew how to fix any problem, you were the best and we all knew it! But what we didn't know is what would happen that night, the events that would unfold, and the tragedy that would change all of our lives forever. That night you made a sacrifice, you gave your life to save ours and literally gave each of us a second chance at life.

I often wonder to myself how am I supposed to say thank you, how can I ever repay you for what you did for me that night? How can I "pay it forward"? I will forever remember all the times you helped me solve a problem or deal with a fellow student in my section who I was unsure how to help. You always had the answer and if you didn't you knew where to find it. I always hope that someday I can be half the teacher you were to me. I often feel that I fall terribly short of that but I try my best to help the students who have been entrusted to me. I hope that in some small way I can help them in all the ways you helped me. In this way I hope to allow your incredible legacy to live on through me.

You are a big part of the reason I decided to become a teacher myself, at a time when I was considering whether or not to go into music education as a career you saw an opportunity to help me find out if it was for me or not. You asked me if I would want to come help you teach elementary band so that I could get a feel for teaching and see if it was really something I was interested in. Well thanks to you and your idea to allow me to help you that year I have now taught a total of four years of elementary band and six years of marching band. Those are things that I probably never would have been able to do on my own, but thanks to you I got my start.

It is from that small start in elementary band that I have now had the opportunity to be involved with a great many students and I hope to continue to be involved with many more in the years to come. It was mostly from you that I learned to love teaching and seeing the progress that students could make. You showed me that it didn't matter what the pay check was or how much sleep at night I got, it's about the students and helping them reach their fullest potential. I will forever be grateful to you for teaching me those life lessons. Whether I end up in education for the rest of my life or somewhere else that is something that I will take with me. Along with so many other lessons I have learned from you.

I cannot thank you enough for all you have taught me and continue to teach me as I look back on my time in the American Fork band program with you.

Heather, you Love will forever live on, thank you for everything you ever gave me, as a teacher, a friend and especially your final act of kindness. I will never be able to repay you so instead I will strive to pay that forward to future generations. I love and miss you so much, not a day goes by that I don't think of you.

Forever Grateful,

Mary

Greater love hath no man that this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13

when your friends decide to get married

Once you graduate from high school, crazy things start happening; people leave on missions, everyone moves away to college, you actually have to work hard so that you can live, your girlfriends start dating guys... break ups happen... proposals happen... engagements happen, and then... marriage happens.

It's probably not so weird for all of the girls getting engaged... but it is for the ones that aren't getting engaged and are sitting in the back of the theater with their tubs of extra butter popcorn watching life happen around them up on the big screen.

I couldn't believe the amount of friends and old high school classmates that were engaged or married within the first year of graduation. It seemed as if I was typing my address into the "Save the date! We're getting married!!" Facebook page almost three times a month.

And then the class below me graduated. The amount of wedding announcements nearly doubled. And there I was... snacking on my junior mints and blue raspberry Slurpee while I sunk lower and lower into my seat in the theater featuring my life story.

It wasn't so much the old high school acquaintances that were making me step back in shock and awe, it was my friends.

I remember sitting down in a circle with my closest of friends nearing my graduation day. We put together a time capsule that wouldn't be opened until 2018. In it are fun memories and letters we've written to each other. Along with other trinkets and pictures, is a paper that has our lives planned out. We were even so bold as to write down who we thought our future spouses would be!

I can tell you right now... my life is nothing like what is written on that paper. And neither is anybody else's. The friends we imagined married are currently serving missions. Those of us that thought we wanted to attend school somewhere have since discovered they were needed elsewhere (*cough* me *cough*).

Then, there are the friends that are happily married (those included in the time capsule and those not).

I remember one of my closest friends began seriously dating someone she had met while attending school. She told me all about how much he loved and cared for her and how happy he made her. I couldn't wait to meet him.

I hated him.

Almost every time his name was brought up in conversation I was trying to sway her opinion of him; making him sound like a bad guy. I said any and everything to try and make her question this boy.

Despite my best efforts they got married. And I realized I was going to have to either fake that I liked him... or actually try and like him - considering she was now stuck with him for forever.

The situation above has  happened many times. In fact, it's happened as each and every single one of my married (or soon-to-be married) friends has met the man of their dreams.

They excitedly tell me all about the boy and how amazing he is, how kind he treats her, and how special she feels when they're together. I'm happy and excited until I actually meet the man that holds my friends heart captive. I quizzically stare into their eyes and wonder if they're even close to good enough for my dear friend.

And then I begin my mission. Operation: make them break up!!!

I'll admit... I'm not proud that I naturally do this. But I can't help wanting the best for the girls that have been there for me through the ups and downs and the bad and the ugly - because they definitely deserve the best.

I have a close friend very near to becoming engaged. I remember rolling my eyes when I first heard all about their plans. I quickly began playing devils advocate - telling her she should try dating other boys.

While talking one day, we got into an argument. During this momentarily prideful time, I knew she was struggling. She was working crazy hours and trying to fit in time to be at home with her family. She was totally and completely stressed but was somehow managing to function normally throughout the day (I still haven't figured out how to do this myself). She had expressed to me numerous times that she felt lost and didn't know what to do and had asked that I would pray for her.

I'll admit that while I was frustrated with her, I excluded her from my prayers (don't do that - it's lame). At the time, I didn't notice that by not praying for this friend, my heart was becoming more and more hard towards her. I became angrier whenever I thought about her and would often complain, trying to convince myself I didn't want to repair the friendship.

Once the summer ended, she moved back to Idaho where she attends school, with her boyfriend. I began to hear things about her through other friends and realized how much I missed being part of her life. My mind wandered back to the time when she shared her struggles with me and almost instantly, a wave of guilt came over me.

That night, I prayed for her for the first time in weeks. I prayed that she would find answers she was seeking and that she would be able to feel at peace. I prayed that my heart would be softened and that I would know how to fix my mistakes.

Eventually we began talking to each other and I was again reminded that she was still dating the same boy. However, this time I promised myself that I wouldn't try and convince her he wasn't good enough.

I began praying for her boyfriend. I know... it sounds totally bizarre... but it actually works!! I prayed that they both would be able to be successful in school and that the Lord would help them make the right decisions in their life.

Slowly, my idea on my friend marrying this boy began to change. I no longer viewed them as young and naive. Nor did I think he wasn't "good enough" for her or that they weren't ready to make such a commitment.

Instead of pointing out all of the negative or the things that could go wrong... I was realizing all of the reasons why they actually were ready for marriage.

I remembered all of the times when she shared with me spiritual moments from his mission. I remembered all of the nice things he had done for her and said to her. I remember all of the times when she felt totally special and loved.

Instead of seeing this girl as someone not prepared for marriage, I saw a hard working and devoted woman. Someone who had spent her life serving the Lord and working towards becoming the best possible her she could become.

After I began praying for them both, I realized I was becoming more and more excited. I became more accepting of him and even welcomed the idea of them getting married.

The Lord has blessed me with some of the most amazing friends. Friends that I know will forever and always be there for me, even if they're married. My life has been changed because of the individuals the Lord has so graciously placed into my life.

Before graduation I thought life would go according to the paper I filled out and placed in the time capsule shoe box that's hidden in my parents home. I couldn't imagine life turning out to be any different than that.

However, I've come to find out that life has turned out much better than what's written on that piece of paper. And I'm sure all of my friends would agree.

I've watched as numerous close friends and acquaintances have been snatched up and married. Even though I don't think a man will ever be good enough for these incredible individuals, I'm thankful the Lord is here to help me see them through His eyes.

I'm thankful for the experience I was able to have as I've watched this friend approach one of the most important decisions she'll make in her life on this earth. The Lord truly has allowed me to view both of them through His eyes as He's helped soften my heart.

Because these friends are the best of the best, I know that they have or will make the right choices in their lives. I've seen them hand their lives over to the Lord and serve Him day after day. I've seen them learn the importance of hard work. I've seen them grow into individuals the Lord is proud of. And I couldn't be more thankful for their examples to me.

two decades is a long time

Apparently you have to live for a while to learn a lot of things... and then you still have to learn a whole lot more - even if you don't really want to.

Yesterday was my twentieth birthday - it feels really weird saying and writing it... but I couldn't be more excited for this next year and all that will come my way. I've truly been blessed with many amazing friends and family - all that have helped make my life simply wonderful.

The past two decades have been rough and frustrating, but they've also been really great. I decided to blog about twenty things I've learned in the past twenty years....

1. You have time. AKA: Patience. Just because I've learned that this is important... doesn't mean I'm any good at it. This will probably be a life - long struggle for me. Seriously, though. Ask anybody that knows me - I'm probably the most impatient person you'll ever meet. However, I've come to find that there are things in life I'm just going to have to wait for - and if I decide to have a negative/bad attitude while doing so... I'm going to hate life. Also - if you pray for patience... the Lord is going to give you trials that require you to exercise patience. This could be bad of me to say - but because of that, I don't pray for patience....

2. Ask for and accept help. I'm stubborn. I want to do what I want to do and when I want to do it. I've never been good at accepting or even asking for help. But I've realized that I can't do everything on my own - the Lord has given me parents, friends and leaders to help me through some of life's toughest moments. Besides... life is so much easier when you accept help - your parents let you eat from their fridge when you're sick of ramen and scrambled eggs and you never have to pay for toilet paper (I'm not sure if they know I steal that....)

3. The Lord's plan is not your plan. ---This is the theme of my LIFE! "If you want to make the Lord laugh, tell Him what your plans are." I'm sure the Lord has gotten a few good laughs from me. I've learned that I'm not my happiest when I'm doing what I think I want to or should do - but when I follow a good prompting and do what I know the Lord wants me to do... I'm my happiest.

4. Eat what you want! I was on a date with a boy a few months ago and was looking at the menu, trying to decide what to order. I thought, "I could order a salad and look all healthy," but then my eyes wandered over to the steak and I thought, "or I could buy this freaking delicious steak and enjoy it!!" While I was eating my small piece of heaven on earth (yes, I got the steak. DUH!), the boy looked at me and said, "Life is too short, eat what you waaaant!" I smiled, nodded and continued eating. Now. I would like to say... that eating healthy and exercising is important... and I should DEFINITELY be better in that area. But life is too short. If you have a piece of Zupa's seven layer chocolate cake in front of you... eat the dang cake and run an extra lap at the gym tomorrow.

5. Give your little brother lots of hugs & kisses. I have one brother. And I love his guts. I've always been jealous of the girls that have older brothers. They're teased mercilessly, but they've also got a best friend that will stick up for them and beat the boys up when they're being stupid (which is a lot of the time;)). Clearly, I don't have an older brother here to tease me... so I've graciously accepted the role as 'teaser'. While I will admit the teasing has caused a lot of unhappy faces from my brother, it's brought a lot of laughs and good memories to our brother/sister relationship. Someday he'll know I do it because I love him - and maybe one day he'll even give me hugs and kisses on the cheek without squealing!

6. Don't give away your kisses like candy. I remember making a HUUUUGE deal out of my first kiss. I wanted it to be special and magical! I imagined meeting a cute boy and falling deeply in love with him before he pulled me in close for a good, foot poppin' smooch (just like Princess Diaries)! It did NOT happen like that.... at all. And once it was over I realized that all the fuss about a first kiss was really nothing to fuss about at all. After that I gave my kisses away too freely and easily. Growing up I had told myself that holding a boys hand and kissing was something special because it meant that I really liked him. Society today tells us otherwise. We cuddle because it's fun. We hold hands because we can. We kiss because, heck, why not?! My advice? Save em'. Save those kisses!! Make the boys earn them... make them wait. Make them mean more. Make them special.

7. Friends (and fries) are way better than guys. I dated a boy a while back and spent ALL my free time with him. Literally. All of it. After the one month of dating bliss and happiness ended, I realized I hadn't spent enough time with my girls - the friends that have been there WAY longer than any boy. Luckily for me, I was blessed with some pretty fantastic (and loyal) friends. They put up with me while I was crazy over a boy and then stuck by my side and even offered to help me bury him after we broke up. This.... this is what true friendship looks like ;). Advice? Boys are great. I love boys. I enjoy dating and spending time with them. But please... you have some pretty great best GIRLfriends that would do anything for you. Don't ditch them once you have a boy in your life. Make time for your friends; have a girls night, paint your nails, watch that chick flick that makes you cry while you eat your tub of Boom Chocolatta Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Boys come and go... but your girls have been here for a while. Trust me, you want to keep them around.

8. You do not need a boy to make you happy when you have bdubs (Buffalo Wild Wings). Amen. I told my parents I wanted to go to bdubs for my birthday dinner and my mom said, "You go there enough already! It isn't even special!!" Needless to say, we didn't go... but you'll probably find me there one night this week. I realize this one is similar to #7, but I wanted to dedicate this specifically to the true love of my life - Buffalo Wild Wings. No, this is not a boy, but it gives me Parmesan Garlic wings and seriously... what else could I ever want?! While I was in high school (and even once I graduated) I was always jealous of the girls that dated and had boyfriends. They walk around, laughing and smiling, hand in hand with their "other half". For some strange, absurd reason I thought that I had to have a boyfriend to be "truly happy". Obviously I hadn't met bdubs yet ;). No, but seriously... you do NOT need a boy to make you happy - this is such a lie. Like I said in #7; boys come and go. If you base your happiness solely on a guy... well... best of luck to you. Advice? Find things you love and go do them. Or... go eat there ;). The guy can come later.

Which brings me to number...

9. Make time for what you love. One of my greatest joys and blessings is music. I picked up the flute in seventh grade and fell in love. In ninth grade I joined the American Fork marching band and eventually fell in love with that, too. It has become my life. I now have the opportunity to staff at Westlake high school in Saratoga Springs and work with twelve amazing young women. Ever since ninth grade I've been super busy because all of my time was taken up with band - but I've always been okay with it because I loved it. Now I'm trying to juggle working a full time job, school, AND teaching... and somewhere in there I'm supposed to sleep and be social and date? Ha. My schedule has always brought me a lot of stress and because of that people have often suggested I give something up in order to relieve myself. But what do I give up? I work because I have to. I go to school because I should (and because I have to). And I do music because I LOVE it. The past seven years of my life have been filled with marching band and quite frankly, I can't imagine life without it. If I HAD to go to school and work, I would make time for music. So I've let myself live the stressful life so that I can have time for what I love. Because of music, I've gained friendships I'll have for forever. I've learned lessons that I wouldn't have otherwise. And it's a big part of who I am today. Advice? Make time for what you love. Even if that means sacrificing sleep and some dates with a cute boy.

10. Actually work hard in school. Ha. Ha. Boy do I regret this, big time. I didn't do terrible in high school... but I definitely didn't do amazing, either. Once I got to college I found myself regretting some of the decisions I had made in high school. I wished that I had worked a little harder and done a little better. Now, I'll be honest, I FAILED at my first two semesters of college and I'm greatly looking to redeeming myself this upcoming semester at UVU. How I did in school is probably the one thing that I would go back and change. If I could, I'd work harder and care more about my education.

11. Dress up. I love to look nice. Sometimes I sit and stare at my closet and put together outfits in my head that I can wear later on. I've had some people ask me why I take so much time to get ready or why I spend money on clothes (and by spending money I most often mean going to TJ Maxx or Ross). Answer? Because I like how I feel. I love to dress up and look nice - even if I don't have to. Now of course there are days when pajamas, pizza, and Pretty Little Liars is TOTALLY acceptable. But on the days where I'm out and about? I like to look my best. Ever since I heard this I was always afraid to go out in public looking terrible: "Always look your best. You never know if you'll meet the man of your dreams today."

12. Don't be afraid of what people think. Any of you that follow me on Facebook or Instagram know that I like to post a lot of quotes. I haven't really been afraid to share my testimony or my thoughts on the Gospel. If I find something I want to share... I share it! I'm very blunt and honest about my feelings pertaining to the Church and love to share what makes me happy. I'll admit, there have been a few times where I've been afraid to open my mouth and share something (or type something into my Facebook feed). I wonder if I annoy or if I'm too forward. But honestly - I've learned to just not care. The one day I decided not to post anything, I received a private message from a friend that said, "Thank you for posting what you post. I needed that today." So I kicked myself, got on Facebook, and posted something anyway. Advice time? Do what you want. Be who you want to be. And don't be afraid of that. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Suess

13. It's okay to take a day off. Pizza and Netflix. Need I say more? But really. My life is incredibly busy. I'm constantly on the go and barely have time for my head to hit my pillow at the end of the day before I'm already hitting snooze on my phone the next morning. I joke about taking the day off to order pizza and watch Netflix ALL the time. And one time I actually did it (okay, I didn't order pizza... but I should have!). I took a day just for myself and caught up (probably a little too much) on my Netflix show. Best. Decision. Ever. After that day I was able to do more. I didn't feel like I was constantly on the go or like I was going to die from lack of sleep. Obviously you'll have to suffer the consequences of taking a day off... but sometimes I think it's worth it. Just don't do it too often ;).

14. Just read your scriptures. (That meme made me laugh way too hard) Just do it. I know, it's hard. It takes time. But oh is it important. My scriptures have collected dust while they sat on the dresser way too many times and I've read 1 Nephi more times than I want to even admit (due to starting over and over and over again). But I've seen just how important scripture study can be and is (I wrote a blog post on it - you should check it out by clicking this link!). I've received numerous blessings that have counseled me to seriously study the Book of Mormon. The times when I'm really good at it, I've been able to see how dramatically my life improves. How much happier I become and how much easier it is to stay strong. My life has been enormously blessed because of the Book of Mormon. I promise it's worth it to take the time to read them - your life will change once you begin a serious study.

15. Make time for the temple. This is something I wish I would have taken more advantage of while I was growing up. I remember going into the temple for the first time after turning 12 and thinking how amazing it was! I promised I would go ALL the time. Unfortunately, I'm no longer that good little beehive and I've struggled to go to the temple as often as I should, when I can go. However, I've recently put the temple into my weekly schedule. And even though I'm still not perfect at going that often, I've seen how much more blessed I am because I have a desire to go and try to as often as my life permits. I love the temple and believe that it is SO important (I wrote a post about this, too). Advice? Go as often as you can. And if you can't go right now? Get to a place so that you can. One of my favorite days to attend the temple is Monday, because it's closed - I sit and park my car in the parking lot and just simply enjoy having the temple in front of me. I promise you will be blessed for attending the temple.

16. Live in the moment. Look forward with caution but definitely DON'T live in the past. Because the past is not who you are anymore (here's another post I wrote about this). Much of who I am today is because of what's happened in my past and I wouldn't go back to change a single thing. However, there have been many times where I've looked back regrettingly (I'm aware this isn't a word) - wishing I could go back and change it all. Obviously that is literally impossible. I've come to find that I can be an amazing individual TODAY despite my past mistakes and decisions. I've also made the mistake of looking forward too longingly (refer back to #1). I'm very impatient and want things now. I wish I didn't have to wait... but I do. Looking forward too far has done me no good, though. I've found that I need to have complete and total trust in the Lord - His plan is far better than what I have in mind.

17. A day without a phone is a good day. When I turned 18 I got my first smart phone. I felt super cool. Along with the phone, we purchased a plan that would allow us to replace the phone at any time within two years for a small fee. I cherished and loved my phone and promised to be careful with it so that I wouldn't ever have to buy a replacement. Two years later and I'm on my sixth phone. The first one cracked. The second fell in the toilet. Third and fourth had similar stories. The fifth phone I decided to try and replace the screen myself (not recommended). I was phone-less for a few days as I awaited my sixth phone in the mail. Initially, my chest tightened and I thought, "Holy cow. I don't have a phone for like, three days!! What am I gonna do?!" Okay. I'm not that glued to my phone. But I did have a mini five second freak out before I realized that going without my phone was actually going to okay. I would not die. And actually... it was fantastic! I didn't feel the constant need to scroll through my Facebook news feed or check for an incoming text message. It was actually quite refreshing and relaxing. I'm not sure why we always feel the constant need to have our phones glued to the palms of our hands - it's actually quite sad. By spending so much time on our phones we lose precious time that could be spent doing other things of MUCH greater value. We miss out on memories and moments that are experienced when our eyes are not attached to our small screens. My advice? Turn it down. Put it away. Heck - turn it off! #17: LIVE IN THE MOMENT!

18. Write. I love to write. My blog is proof of this. I have a personal and scripture journal that I write in quite frequently. I find that I pay attention and remember things more when I'm writing them down. Putting my thoughts on paper helps me to think more clearly and understand things better. A few years ago, I began an electronic journal for my future children. It's filled with life experiences and advice that I would give to them if they were to ever go through the same things (i.e. how I would act differently, what I wished I would have done, etc.). I find that as I've written things down, I'm able to see my progress individually and make goals to better myself. My advice? Write. Write everything down. Write the good and the bad. The happy and sad. Just write.

19. Everybody's got something. Sometimes I look at people and think, "Man. They have it all. And they've never struggled with a thing in their life. Lucky them." I've been slapped in the face for this quite a few times... because everybody's got something. Whether that "something" is you got a bad grade on your math final or you're struggling with an addiction... everybody's got something. Something that is hard for them. Something that is unfair for them. Just because it may seem like a "piece of cake" to me doesn't mean it is for somebody else. God has created a beautiful life uniquely for each and every single one of us. The struggles and trials we go through individually are for our own personal growth and development. I go through what I go through so I can be who I need to be. And that's the same for everyone around me.

20. "Keep your chin up". When I was in junior high, my parents told me that if I joined the track team they'd buy me an mp3 player. OBVIOUSLY I joined the team! I mean, who doesn't want an mp3 player...??! Anyways. I'm the not the best runner ever - running is definitely not my thing. One day I was feeling discouraged about my performance on the team - I was always the last person and always had the slowest time. After sharing this with my dad, he told me that whenever I was having a difficult time while running, I needed to take a deep breath, put my chin up, and say "I got this". Since then, there have been numerous times when he's told me to "keep your chin up", and every time I have a difficult decision to make or am having a rough day, I remember those four words. We're all going to have a rough day - it's inevitable. We'll all be faced with decisions of what is "good, better and best" and it will be hard to choose which direction to travel in. I find hope and peace in knowing that I have someone by my side that knows what it's all like. I have a Savior that has been through any and everything. Just remember to keep your chin up... we're in God's hands and He won't let us down. With Him, we cannot fail.

And a little something extra....

21. The Church is cool. I'll admit, when I was younger I sort of wished I didn't know about the Church so that I could do whatever the heck I wanted. I'd often think, "If I weren't a Mormon I could [insert something not so great]". I sometimes wished I could go get a hamburger on Sunday or watch a movie I probably shouldn't. I'm happy to say I never did anything ridiculously stupid! But it did take a really long time for me to actually want to follow the standards of the Church. It took me a long time to want to read my scriptures and to want to go to Church. It took me a long time to want to pay my tithing or to want to pray. I did everything I was supposed to do because... well, I was supposed to. I believed that the Church was true based off of my parents and other's testimonies. I had a basic knowledge of the Church and could get up and bear a regurgitated testimony. Eventually I decided I needed to figure this Church thing out for myself - so I started doing everything I knew to do. I began reading my scriptures more. I met with my bishop. I began listening to conference talks and praying. I attended Church meetings and functions. Slowly but surely, I noticed a desire was beginning to grow inside of me (I wrote about this in a post, too). I found that I was smiling a whole lot more. Eventually I came to find my own testimony - not the testimony of those around me... but my own, personal testimony. And it meant so much more. Rather than doing things because other people expected them of me, I was doing them because I actually wanted to. I had found a desire to choose the right and serve God. The Church is cool. It really is. It keeps us safe, healthy, and happy. It wasn't designed to constrict us or make us "weirdos" (although, we are pretty weird). There is a reason why it's called "the great plan of happiness". I know that we will be truly happy if we're following the Lord's standards... especially because we want to.

The past twenty years have been good ones. I've learned and grown and couldn't be more thankful for the experiences I've had. I'm thankful for all of the amazing friends and family that the Lord has blessed me with. Thank you for your love and support.

Related posts:
to the recent graduate, 

we're all beggars

There is nothing that bothers me more than someone being judged based off of their past. If there is one thing I've learned, it's that the past makes you who you presently are - whether that's someone to be proud of or someone that needs a little bit of work.

There are a lot of amazing people that have had a rough past; people have made the worst mistakes and have gone through the most terrible things and yet today they live incredible lives that are astounding and inspiring.

I'm definitely one that is so thankful for the things I've gone through in my life - without them I wouldn't have the knowledge, insights, and even empathy that I currently have. Going through all the rough patches and the ups and downs has made me truly happy - a happy that I couldn't be if I didn't have to go through all I've been through.

Our teacher in Sunday school referenced the talk, "Are We Not All Beggars?" by Jeffrey R. Holland (Click for link) and I loved the thoughts that came to my head after discussing this talk.

"For one thing, we can, as King Benjamin taught, cease withholding our means because we see the poor as having brought their misery upon themselves. Perhaps some have created their own difficulties, but don't the rest of us do exactly the same thing? Isn't that why this compassionate ruler asks, 'Are we not all beggars?' Don't we all cry out for help and hope and answers to prayers? Don't we all beg for forgiveness for mistakes we have made and troubles we have caused? Don't we all implore that grace will compensate for our weaknesses, that mercy with triumph over justice at least in our case?"

I love the thought that we are all beggars. I'm sure that there has, or will be, a point in each of our lives where we will "cry out for help and hope and answers to prayers".... a time where we will find ourselves "beg[ging] for forgiveness for mistakes we have made and troubles we have caused".

Whatever your reason be for seeking heavenly guidance and help, whether that be because you're having a rough day... or because you're struggling with an addiction... or attempting to find relief from committing an immoral sin, we're all beggars.

Each of us came into this life fully aware that we would make mistakes - because we have to! None of us started out perfect because perfection is our ultimate goal. If we were already perfect there would be no reason for us to be here. There would have been no reason for a Savior or for His Atonement. Earth was designed for us to come and mess up so that we could learn, grow, and progress toward perfection.

So, yes. ALL have made mistakes. All WILL make mistakes; because we have to! It's part of our mortal existence.

Now, obviously the level of mistakes we make differs for every individual; I know that my weaknesses and struggles are not the same as my neighbors... but we all will make mistakes throughout our lives.

One thing that I feel incredibly strongly about.... is that it doesn't matter what the sin/mistake/weakness/struggle is. We are all God's children and He loves us totally and completely. To me, I don't think it should matter what we have done because we are the same in the aspect that we are children of the same Heavenly Parents.

I've met many wonderful individuals that have inspired me more than they're aware that have had some of the most difficult pasts. I have friends that have a plethora of bad days but choose to see the good in them, no matter how difficult (my friend, Marissa shares her story on her blog. You should check it out in the link on her name). I have friends that are teen parents. I have friends that struggle with addiction. I know individuals that have been through some of the hardest things - and it almost doesn't seem fair. But the cool thing is, they've learned from their mistakes and have blossomed into some of the most amazing individuals I've met in my life.

When I look at them I don't remember the mistakes they've made. I don't judge their actions. I don't laugh or point or mock. I just smile. I smile because they've overcome some of life's most difficult things. I smile because they're happy. I smile because they have experienced a change of heart. I smile because they've used the beautiful gift of the Atonement that our Savior, Jesus Christ has so lovingly and willingly given to each of us.

And I believe that is how our Savior looks at each of us.

Not with eyes of scorn. Not with eyes of disappointment or sadness. But with eyes filled with a perfect brightness of hope. Eyes filled with love. Eyes filled with compassion and mercy.

My absolute favorite quote comes from Jeffry R. Holland: "...however late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don't have, or distance from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is NOT possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ's Atonement shines." Emphasis added.

Our Father in Heaven gave His Only Begotten Son so that we could return back to Him. Christ came to this earth to be an example for us. He came to experience all the pains and sins that anyone would ever know or go through. He suffered and died on the cross so that we could have and use the Atonement - the one thing that helps us get back to Him.

The Lord smiles brightly when we let the Atonement into our lives. I'm sure that nothing makes Him more happy than an individual simply trying. The cool thing about this gospel is that there are no second chances... there are MANY chances. We can fail over and over again and we will never run out of chances to use the Atonement.

If we are striving to be more like Christ, shouldn't we be striving to see His other children through the same eyes? There have been a few moments where I believe I have felt the strong love our Heavenly Father has for each of His children. I had a dear friend tell me something she had done. I listened to her and watched her cry while she sat on my bed. Rather than turning away with disgust, I gave her a big hug. I told her that I knew her Heavenly Father loved her and that she could return to Him if she just tried. In that moment, light and warmth filled my heart. I didn't view her as a dirty sinner, I looked at her as the beautiful daughter of God that she is!

Life is too hard for us to be judging, pointing or laughing. Each of us have to go through our own specific set of trials and struggles. Our lives are a masterpiece designed by the Savior - the ups and downs are what makes it beautiful!

I know that our Savior loves us. So much more than we will be able to comprehend in this life. He understands what it's like to be tempted because He gets it. He knows how hard it sometimes is just to get through another day.

Despite all the negative and bad that goes on around us or maybe that goes on within us... the Lord loves us. There is hope. Through Him, we can find refuge from the storm. We can be lifted up. Through Him, our burdens can be at ease. He didn't die for nothing... He died for YOU. Despite what you may think, you are not exempt from His Atonement and love. It IS within your reach.

I believe that no matter how difficult the road forward may seem... that it will always be worth it to hold the Lord's hand and accept His help all along the way.

band camp 2015

Another parade season has come and gone. The kids did great this year.

Flutes at the Draper Parade

[Emily, Kenzie, Me, Talia, Breanna, Annalise, Sara, Ravyn, Whitney, Autumn, Kayla, Holly]

Waiting for the parade to begin.

[Kenzie, Annalise, Autumn, Holly, Breanna, Talia, Me]

We were at practice and I told the girls: "Thou shalt not mark time like Talia." Obviously they ended up creating more commandments - #4 ended up being "Though shalt honor Cambri" (I know - it's terrible). Hence the picture :).

Callie left for her mission to Nagoya, Japan! It's been so crazy watching her prepare to serve her mission in such a short amount of time. In just a few weeks, EmmaLee leaves for Indiana. I'm thankful I have such amazing friends that are such great examples to me - each and every single one of them blesses my life in their own special way.

[Kayla, Callie, Me, EmmaLee]

This beautiful girl got her mission call to Toronto, Canada Spanish speaking!! I had the opportunity to work with and teach Sharie for two years at Westlake.... she was my section leader and did a phenomenal job. I can't wait to hear about all the amazing things she'll do while she's serving the Lord.

[Sharie & I]

All the band kids. :)

BaNd CaMp!!

Day #1: Disney Day

[Me, Megan, Kylie, Mary]

Day #2: Around the World

Flute Kabobs

[Mango, Mangaba, Huckleberry, Watermelon, Emblic, Dragon Fruit, Coconut, Sapodilla, Ackee, Banana, Kiwi, Thimbleberry, Annatto, Shikuasa, Cantaloupe, Key Lime]

Day #3: Decades

[Emily, Cambri, Kaylee, Talia, Kenzie, Autumn]

Day #4: Section look - a - like

[Megan, Me, Mary]

The flutes dressed up as Granny Cambri's - to make fun of my bad back.

Day #5

I looked down at their feet during sectionals and burst out laughing. Of course we had to take a picture of our hot tan lines.

Working with the kids and staff at Westlake has been a complete honor!! I have loved every minute, experience, and opportunity that I have with these amazing people. I have learned and grown in ways I didn't know I ever would.... I've gained friendships that I hope will last forever. Here's to another amazing season with the Westlake Thunder!

Once upon a time... a lot has happened.

So many great things have happened recently!! I feel incredibly blessed to have been given the life I have. I know that the Lord loves each and every one of us and that He wants to bless us.

1. I moved to Provo.

Sure did! I moved into Carriage Cove apartments about three weeks ago. I'm loving it. The drive to work isn't very fun... but I like to think it's quite worth it! I was blessed with three incredible roommates; Jessica, Lauren and Brittany. Each of them are so sweet and kind. I seriously couldn't have asked for better roommates.

Dallin and Hollie came and spent the night with me last Saturday night.

2. I went to the Manti Pageant.
For the first time! Our ward went on Friday and then spent the night in some cabins that someone in our ward owns. It was a lot of fun! Surely something I'll always remember. I think it's really cool how the Church does things like this!! And how amazing it was to see all of those people come together to view the Mormon miracle together.

3. We got a dog.

We got a dog? What?! His name is Koda and he is the CUTEST little pup you'll ever see.

4. Parades have started.

Oh parades... how I... love... you...... ;). We've done two parades so far - the kids are looking fantastic and sounding great. I'm looking forward to show season already.

5. My flutes were the first passed off on their parade tune.

Yes. Yes they were :). And I'm SO PROUD!! The girls set a date for them to pass off the tune and even set a consequence if they failed to meet their goal. The drum majors promised that the first section would get cake for being passed off. So, one blistering hot Thursday, the last flute passed off her parade tune and the drum majors announced to the band that the flutes were the first to be done. WHOO!! Saturday night we had a party and the majors brought them they're well deserved cakes :). Now let's be the first section passed off on show music........

6. Work, work, work.
Work has been good... as good as work can be. We had someone from our team that works from New Mexico come in for the week. For some reason his nickname is "sugar lips", so Cindy made sugar cookies in the shape of lips. I definitely am grateful for the opportunity I have to work at such a great place with such amazing people.

7. All my friends are leaving me.

Literally. EmmaLee is going on a mission. Callie is going on a mission. Brianna is going on a mission. Marissa is going back to Idaho. Syvanna is going to Florida. And me? I am in Provo :). 

BUT! I feel incredibly blessed to have been given all of these amazing friends. They've been such tremendous examples to me and have struck with me through the thick and thin and the ups and downs. We've been through a lot together and personally - I'm so thankful for the things I've learned from these beautiful ladies.

Since Syvanna and Marissa are leaving... we decided to take pictures before the three of us are in three different states. We've done this three times now! We've changed SO much.

2012

2014

AND NOW! 

2015.......

I want a man with a motorcycle.

This is for you, Jana ;)

I'm going to miss these three lovely ladies very much. They've both been inspiring to me. They've each had their own individual struggles and trials and I've watched as we've been able to help each other through them. I've seen how much they've grown and what they've learned. It's been an incredible journey thus far and I can't wait to continue making memories. Love you both :)