Apparently you have to live for a while to learn a lot of things... and then you still have to learn a whole lot more - even if you don't really want to.
Yesterday was my twentieth birthday - it feels really weird saying and writing it... but I couldn't be more excited for this next year and all that will come my way. I've truly been blessed with many amazing friends and family - all that have helped make my life simply wonderful.
The past two decades have been rough and frustrating, but they've also been really great. I decided to blog about twenty things I've learned in the past twenty years....
1. You have time. AKA: Patience. Just because I've learned that this is important... doesn't mean I'm any good at it. This will probably be a life - long struggle for me. Seriously, though. Ask anybody that knows me - I'm probably the most impatient person you'll ever meet. However, I've come to find that there are things in life I'm just going to have to wait for - and if I decide to have a negative/bad attitude while doing so... I'm going to hate life. Also - if you pray for patience... the Lord is going to give you trials that require you to exercise patience. This could be bad of me to say - but because of that, I don't pray for patience....
2. Ask for and accept help. I'm stubborn. I want to do what I want to do and when I want to do it. I've never been good at accepting or even asking for help. But I've realized that I can't do everything on my own - the Lord has given me parents, friends and leaders to help me through some of life's toughest moments. Besides... life is so much easier when you accept help - your parents let you eat from their fridge when you're sick of ramen and scrambled eggs and you never have to pay for toilet paper (I'm not sure if they know I steal that....)
3. The Lord's plan is not your plan. ---This is the theme of my LIFE! "If you want to make the Lord laugh, tell Him what your plans are." I'm sure the Lord has gotten a few good laughs from me. I've learned that I'm not my happiest when I'm doing what I think I want to or should do - but when I follow a good prompting and do what I know the Lord wants me to do... I'm my happiest.
4. Eat what you want! I was on a date with a boy a few months ago and was looking at the menu, trying to decide what to order. I thought, "I could order a salad and look all healthy," but then my eyes wandered over to the steak and I thought, "or I could buy this freaking delicious steak and enjoy it!!" While I was eating my small piece of heaven on earth (yes, I got the steak. DUH!), the boy looked at me and said, "Life is too short, eat what you waaaant!" I smiled, nodded and continued eating. Now. I would like to say... that eating healthy and exercising is important... and I should DEFINITELY be better in that area. But life is too short. If you have a piece of Zupa's seven layer chocolate cake in front of you... eat the dang cake and run an extra lap at the gym tomorrow.
5. Give your little brother lots of hugs & kisses. I have one brother. And I love his guts. I've always been jealous of the girls that have older brothers. They're teased mercilessly, but they've also got a best friend that will stick up for them and beat the boys up when they're being stupid (which is a lot of the time;)). Clearly, I don't have an older brother here to tease me... so I've graciously accepted the role as 'teaser'. While I will admit the teasing has caused a lot of unhappy faces from my brother, it's brought a lot of laughs and good memories to our brother/sister relationship. Someday he'll know I do it because I love him - and maybe one day he'll even give me hugs and kisses on the cheek without squealing!
6. Don't give away your kisses like candy. I remember making a HUUUUGE deal out of my first kiss. I wanted it to be special and magical! I imagined meeting a cute boy and falling deeply in love with him before he pulled me in close for a good, foot poppin' smooch (just like Princess Diaries)! It did NOT happen like that.... at all. And once it was over I realized that all the fuss about a first kiss was really nothing to fuss about at all. After that I gave my kisses away too freely and easily. Growing up I had told myself that holding a boys hand and kissing was something special because it meant that I really liked him. Society today tells us otherwise. We cuddle because it's fun. We hold hands because we can. We kiss because, heck, why not?! My advice? Save em'. Save those kisses!! Make the boys earn them... make them wait. Make them mean more. Make them special.
7. Friends (and fries) are way better than guys. I dated a boy a while back and spent ALL my free time with him. Literally. All of it. After the one month of dating bliss and happiness ended, I realized I hadn't spent enough time with my girls - the friends that have been there WAY longer than any boy. Luckily for me, I was blessed with some pretty fantastic (and loyal) friends. They put up with me while I was crazy over a boy and then stuck by my side and even offered to help me bury him after we broke up. This.... this is what true friendship looks like ;). Advice? Boys are great. I love boys. I enjoy dating and spending time with them. But please... you have some pretty great best GIRLfriends that would do anything for you. Don't ditch them once you have a boy in your life. Make time for your friends; have a girls night, paint your nails, watch that chick flick that makes you cry while you eat your tub of Boom Chocolatta Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Boys come and go... but your girls have been here for a while. Trust me, you want to keep them around.
8. You do not need a boy to make you happy when you have bdubs (Buffalo Wild Wings). Amen. I told my parents I wanted to go to bdubs for my birthday dinner and my mom said, "You go there enough already! It isn't even special!!" Needless to say, we didn't go... but you'll probably find me there one night this week. I realize this one is similar to #7, but I wanted to dedicate this specifically to the true love of my life - Buffalo Wild Wings. No, this is not a boy, but it gives me Parmesan Garlic wings and seriously... what else could I ever want?! While I was in high school (and even once I graduated) I was always jealous of the girls that dated and had boyfriends. They walk around, laughing and smiling, hand in hand with their "other half". For some strange, absurd reason I thought that I had to have a boyfriend to be "truly happy". Obviously I hadn't met bdubs yet ;). No, but seriously... you do NOT need a boy to make you happy - this is such a lie. Like I said in #7; boys come and go. If you base your happiness solely on a guy... well... best of luck to you. Advice? Find things you love and go do them. Or... go eat there ;). The guy can come later.
Which brings me to number...
9. Make time for what you love. One of my greatest joys and blessings is music. I picked up the flute in seventh grade and fell in love. In ninth grade I joined the American Fork marching band and eventually fell in love with that, too. It has become my life. I now have the opportunity to staff at Westlake high school in Saratoga Springs and work with twelve amazing young women. Ever since ninth grade I've been super busy because all of my time was taken up with band - but I've always been okay with it because I loved it. Now I'm trying to juggle working a full time job, school, AND teaching... and somewhere in there I'm supposed to sleep and be social and date? Ha. My schedule has always brought me a lot of stress and because of that people have often suggested I give something up in order to relieve myself. But what do I give up? I work because I have to. I go to school because I should (and because I have to). And I do music because I LOVE it. The past seven years of my life have been filled with marching band and quite frankly, I can't imagine life without it. If I HAD to go to school and work, I would make time for music. So I've let myself live the stressful life so that I can have time for what I love. Because of music, I've gained friendships I'll have for forever. I've learned lessons that I wouldn't have otherwise. And it's a big part of who I am today. Advice? Make time for what you love. Even if that means sacrificing sleep and some dates with a cute boy.
10. Actually work hard in school. Ha. Ha. Boy do I regret this, big time. I didn't do terrible in high school... but I definitely didn't do amazing, either. Once I got to college I found myself regretting some of the decisions I had made in high school. I wished that I had worked a little harder and done a little better. Now, I'll be honest, I FAILED at my first two semesters of college and I'm greatly looking to redeeming myself this upcoming semester at UVU. How I did in school is probably the one thing that I would go back and change. If I could, I'd work harder and care more about my education.
11. Dress up. I love to look nice. Sometimes I sit and stare at my closet and put together outfits in my head that I can wear later on. I've had some people ask me why I take so much time to get ready or why I spend money on clothes (and by spending money I most often mean going to TJ Maxx or Ross). Answer? Because I like how I feel. I love to dress up and look nice - even if I don't have to. Now of course there are days when pajamas, pizza, and Pretty Little Liars is TOTALLY acceptable. But on the days where I'm out and about? I like to look my best. Ever since I heard this I was always afraid to go out in public looking terrible: "Always look your best. You never know if you'll meet the man of your dreams today."
12. Don't be afraid of what people think. Any of you that follow me on Facebook or Instagram know that I like to post a lot of quotes. I haven't really been afraid to share my testimony or my thoughts on the Gospel. If I find something I want to share... I share it! I'm very blunt and honest about my feelings pertaining to the Church and love to share what makes me happy. I'll admit, there have been a few times where I've been afraid to open my mouth and share something (or type something into my Facebook feed). I wonder if I annoy or if I'm too forward. But honestly - I've learned to just not care. The one day I decided not to post anything, I received a private message from a friend that said, "Thank you for posting what you post. I needed that today." So I kicked myself, got on Facebook, and posted something anyway. Advice time? Do what you want. Be who you want to be. And don't be afraid of that. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Suess
13. It's okay to take a day off. Pizza and Netflix. Need I say more? But really. My life is incredibly busy. I'm constantly on the go and barely have time for my head to hit my pillow at the end of the day before I'm already hitting snooze on my phone the next morning. I joke about taking the day off to order pizza and watch Netflix ALL the time. And one time I actually did it (okay, I didn't order pizza... but I should have!). I took a day just for myself and caught up (probably a little too much) on my Netflix show. Best. Decision. Ever. After that day I was able to do more. I didn't feel like I was constantly on the go or like I was going to die from lack of sleep. Obviously you'll have to suffer the consequences of taking a day off... but sometimes I think it's worth it. Just don't do it too often ;).
14. Just read your scriptures. (That meme made me laugh way too hard) Just do it. I know, it's hard. It takes time. But oh is it important. My scriptures have collected dust while they sat on the dresser way too many times and I've read 1 Nephi more times than I want to even admit (due to starting over and over and over again). But I've seen just how important scripture study can be and is (I wrote a blog post on it - you should check it out by clicking this link!). I've received numerous blessings that have counseled me to seriously study the Book of Mormon. The times when I'm really good at it, I've been able to see how dramatically my life improves. How much happier I become and how much easier it is to stay strong. My life has been enormously blessed because of the Book of Mormon. I promise it's worth it to take the time to read them - your life will change once you begin a serious study.
15. Make time for the temple. This is something I wish I would have taken more advantage of while I was growing up. I remember going into the temple for the first time after turning 12 and thinking how amazing it was! I promised I would go ALL the time. Unfortunately, I'm no longer that good little beehive and I've struggled to go to the temple as often as I should, when I can go. However, I've recently put the temple into my weekly schedule. And even though I'm still not perfect at going that often, I've seen how much more blessed I am because I have a desire to go and try to as often as my life permits. I love the temple and believe that it is SO important (I wrote a post about this, too). Advice? Go as often as you can. And if you can't go right now? Get to a place so that you can. One of my favorite days to attend the temple is Monday, because it's closed - I sit and park my car in the parking lot and just simply enjoy having the temple in front of me. I promise you will be blessed for attending the temple.
16. Live in the moment. Look forward with caution but definitely DON'T live in the past. Because the past is not who you are anymore (here's another post I wrote about this). Much of who I am today is because of what's happened in my past and I wouldn't go back to change a single thing. However, there have been many times where I've looked back regrettingly (I'm aware this isn't a word) - wishing I could go back and change it all. Obviously that is literally impossible. I've come to find that I can be an amazing individual TODAY despite my past mistakes and decisions. I've also made the mistake of looking forward too longingly (refer back to #1). I'm very impatient and want things now. I wish I didn't have to wait... but I do. Looking forward too far has done me no good, though. I've found that I need to have complete and total trust in the Lord - His plan is far better than what I have in mind.
17. A day without a phone is a good day. When I turned 18 I got my first smart phone. I felt super cool. Along with the phone, we purchased a plan that would allow us to replace the phone at any time within two years for a small fee. I cherished and loved my phone and promised to be careful with it so that I wouldn't ever have to buy a replacement. Two years later and I'm on my sixth phone. The first one cracked. The second fell in the toilet. Third and fourth had similar stories. The fifth phone I decided to try and replace the screen myself (not recommended). I was phone-less for a few days as I awaited my sixth phone in the mail. Initially, my chest tightened and I thought, "Holy cow. I don't have a phone for like, three days!! What am I gonna do?!" Okay. I'm not that glued to my phone. But I did have a mini five second freak out before I realized that going without my phone was actually going to okay. I would not die. And actually... it was fantastic! I didn't feel the constant need to scroll through my Facebook news feed or check for an incoming text message. It was actually quite refreshing and relaxing. I'm not sure why we always feel the constant need to have our phones glued to the palms of our hands - it's actually quite sad. By spending so much time on our phones we lose precious time that could be spent doing other things of MUCH greater value. We miss out on memories and moments that are experienced when our eyes are not attached to our small screens. My advice? Turn it down. Put it away. Heck - turn it off! #17: LIVE IN THE MOMENT!
18. Write. I love to write. My blog is proof of this. I have a personal and scripture journal that I write in quite frequently. I find that I pay attention and remember things more when I'm writing them down. Putting my thoughts on paper helps me to think more clearly and understand things better. A few years ago, I began an electronic journal for my future children. It's filled with life experiences and advice that I would give to them if they were to ever go through the same things (i.e. how I would act differently, what I wished I would have done, etc.). I find that as I've written things down, I'm able to see my progress individually and make goals to better myself. My advice? Write. Write everything down. Write the good and the bad. The happy and sad. Just write.
19. Everybody's got something. Sometimes I look at people and think, "Man. They have it all. And they've never struggled with a thing in their life. Lucky them." I've been slapped in the face for this quite a few times... because everybody's got something. Whether that "something" is you got a bad grade on your math final or you're struggling with an addiction... everybody's got something. Something that is hard for them. Something that is unfair for them. Just because it may seem like a "piece of cake" to me doesn't mean it is for somebody else. God has created a beautiful life uniquely for each and every single one of us. The struggles and trials we go through individually are for our own personal growth and development. I go through what I go through so I can be who I need to be. And that's the same for everyone around me.
20. "Keep your chin up". When I was in junior high, my parents told me that if I joined the track team they'd buy me an mp3 player. OBVIOUSLY I joined the team! I mean, who doesn't want an mp3 player...??! Anyways. I'm the not the best runner ever - running is definitely not my thing. One day I was feeling discouraged about my performance on the team - I was always the last person and always had the slowest time. After sharing this with my dad, he told me that whenever I was having a difficult time while running, I needed to take a deep breath, put my chin up, and say "I got this". Since then, there have been numerous times when he's told me to "keep your chin up", and every time I have a difficult decision to make or am having a rough day, I remember those four words. We're all going to have a rough day - it's inevitable. We'll all be faced with decisions of what is "good, better and best" and it will be hard to choose which direction to travel in. I find hope and peace in knowing that I have someone by my side that knows what it's all like. I have a Savior that has been through any and everything. Just remember to keep your chin up... we're in God's hands and He won't let us down. With Him, we cannot fail.
And a little something extra....
21. The Church is cool. I'll admit, when I was younger I sort of wished I didn't know about the Church so that I could do whatever the heck I wanted. I'd often think, "If I weren't a Mormon I could [insert something not so great]". I sometimes wished I could go get a hamburger on Sunday or watch a movie I probably shouldn't. I'm happy to say I never did anything ridiculously stupid! But it did take a really long time for me to actually want to follow the standards of the Church. It took me a long time to want to read my scriptures and to want to go to Church. It took me a long time to want to pay my tithing or to want to pray. I did everything I was supposed to do because... well, I was supposed to. I believed that the Church was true based off of my parents and other's testimonies. I had a basic knowledge of the Church and could get up and bear a regurgitated testimony. Eventually I decided I needed to figure this Church thing out for myself - so I started doing everything I knew to do. I began reading my scriptures more. I met with my bishop. I began listening to conference talks and praying. I attended Church meetings and functions. Slowly but surely, I noticed a desire was beginning to grow inside of me (I wrote about this in a post, too). I found that I was smiling a whole lot more. Eventually I came to find my own testimony - not the testimony of those around me... but my own, personal testimony. And it meant so much more. Rather than doing things because other people expected them of me, I was doing them because I actually wanted to. I had found a desire to choose the right and serve God. The Church is cool. It really is. It keeps us safe, healthy, and happy. It wasn't designed to constrict us or make us "weirdos" (although, we are pretty weird). There is a reason why it's called "the great plan of happiness". I know that we will be truly happy if we're following the Lord's standards... especially because we want to.
The past twenty years have been good ones. I've learned and grown and couldn't be more thankful for the experiences I've had. I'm thankful for all of the amazing friends and family that the Lord has blessed me with. Thank you for your love and support.
Related posts:
to the recent graduate,
Yesterday was my twentieth birthday - it feels really weird saying and writing it... but I couldn't be more excited for this next year and all that will come my way. I've truly been blessed with many amazing friends and family - all that have helped make my life simply wonderful.
The past two decades have been rough and frustrating, but they've also been really great. I decided to blog about twenty things I've learned in the past twenty years....
1. You have time. AKA: Patience. Just because I've learned that this is important... doesn't mean I'm any good at it. This will probably be a life - long struggle for me. Seriously, though. Ask anybody that knows me - I'm probably the most impatient person you'll ever meet. However, I've come to find that there are things in life I'm just going to have to wait for - and if I decide to have a negative/bad attitude while doing so... I'm going to hate life. Also - if you pray for patience... the Lord is going to give you trials that require you to exercise patience. This could be bad of me to say - but because of that, I don't pray for patience....
2. Ask for and accept help. I'm stubborn. I want to do what I want to do and when I want to do it. I've never been good at accepting or even asking for help. But I've realized that I can't do everything on my own - the Lord has given me parents, friends and leaders to help me through some of life's toughest moments. Besides... life is so much easier when you accept help - your parents let you eat from their fridge when you're sick of ramen and scrambled eggs and you never have to pay for toilet paper (I'm not sure if they know I steal that....)
3. The Lord's plan is not your plan. ---This is the theme of my LIFE! "If you want to make the Lord laugh, tell Him what your plans are." I'm sure the Lord has gotten a few good laughs from me. I've learned that I'm not my happiest when I'm doing what I think I want to or should do - but when I follow a good prompting and do what I know the Lord wants me to do... I'm my happiest.
4. Eat what you want! I was on a date with a boy a few months ago and was looking at the menu, trying to decide what to order. I thought, "I could order a salad and look all healthy," but then my eyes wandered over to the steak and I thought, "or I could buy this freaking delicious steak and enjoy it!!" While I was eating my small piece of heaven on earth (yes, I got the steak. DUH!), the boy looked at me and said, "Life is too short, eat what you waaaant!" I smiled, nodded and continued eating. Now. I would like to say... that eating healthy and exercising is important... and I should DEFINITELY be better in that area. But life is too short. If you have a piece of Zupa's seven layer chocolate cake in front of you... eat the dang cake and run an extra lap at the gym tomorrow.
6. Don't give away your kisses like candy. I remember making a HUUUUGE deal out of my first kiss. I wanted it to be special and magical! I imagined meeting a cute boy and falling deeply in love with him before he pulled me in close for a good, foot poppin' smooch (just like Princess Diaries)! It did NOT happen like that.... at all. And once it was over I realized that all the fuss about a first kiss was really nothing to fuss about at all. After that I gave my kisses away too freely and easily. Growing up I had told myself that holding a boys hand and kissing was something special because it meant that I really liked him. Society today tells us otherwise. We cuddle because it's fun. We hold hands because we can. We kiss because, heck, why not?! My advice? Save em'. Save those kisses!! Make the boys earn them... make them wait. Make them mean more. Make them special.
7. Friends (and fries) are way better than guys. I dated a boy a while back and spent ALL my free time with him. Literally. All of it. After the one month of dating bliss and happiness ended, I realized I hadn't spent enough time with my girls - the friends that have been there WAY longer than any boy. Luckily for me, I was blessed with some pretty fantastic (and loyal) friends. They put up with me while I was crazy over a boy and then stuck by my side and even offered to help me bury him after we broke up. This.... this is what true friendship looks like ;). Advice? Boys are great. I love boys. I enjoy dating and spending time with them. But please... you have some pretty great best GIRLfriends that would do anything for you. Don't ditch them once you have a boy in your life. Make time for your friends; have a girls night, paint your nails, watch that chick flick that makes you cry while you eat your tub of Boom Chocolatta Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Boys come and go... but your girls have been here for a while. Trust me, you want to keep them around.
8. You do not need a boy to make you happy when you have bdubs (Buffalo Wild Wings). Amen. I told my parents I wanted to go to bdubs for my birthday dinner and my mom said, "You go there enough already! It isn't even special!!" Needless to say, we didn't go... but you'll probably find me there one night this week. I realize this one is similar to #7, but I wanted to dedicate this specifically to the true love of my life - Buffalo Wild Wings. No, this is not a boy, but it gives me Parmesan Garlic wings and seriously... what else could I ever want?! While I was in high school (and even once I graduated) I was always jealous of the girls that dated and had boyfriends. They walk around, laughing and smiling, hand in hand with their "other half". For some strange, absurd reason I thought that I had to have a boyfriend to be "truly happy". Obviously I hadn't met bdubs yet ;). No, but seriously... you do NOT need a boy to make you happy - this is such a lie. Like I said in #7; boys come and go. If you base your happiness solely on a guy... well... best of luck to you. Advice? Find things you love and go do them. Or... go eat there ;). The guy can come later.
Which brings me to number...
9. Make time for what you love. One of my greatest joys and blessings is music. I picked up the flute in seventh grade and fell in love. In ninth grade I joined the American Fork marching band and eventually fell in love with that, too. It has become my life. I now have the opportunity to staff at Westlake high school in Saratoga Springs and work with twelve amazing young women. Ever since ninth grade I've been super busy because all of my time was taken up with band - but I've always been okay with it because I loved it. Now I'm trying to juggle working a full time job, school, AND teaching... and somewhere in there I'm supposed to sleep and be social and date? Ha. My schedule has always brought me a lot of stress and because of that people have often suggested I give something up in order to relieve myself. But what do I give up? I work because I have to. I go to school because I should (and because I have to). And I do music because I LOVE it. The past seven years of my life have been filled with marching band and quite frankly, I can't imagine life without it. If I HAD to go to school and work, I would make time for music. So I've let myself live the stressful life so that I can have time for what I love. Because of music, I've gained friendships I'll have for forever. I've learned lessons that I wouldn't have otherwise. And it's a big part of who I am today. Advice? Make time for what you love. Even if that means sacrificing sleep and some dates with a cute boy.
10. Actually work hard in school. Ha. Ha. Boy do I regret this, big time. I didn't do terrible in high school... but I definitely didn't do amazing, either. Once I got to college I found myself regretting some of the decisions I had made in high school. I wished that I had worked a little harder and done a little better. Now, I'll be honest, I FAILED at my first two semesters of college and I'm greatly looking to redeeming myself this upcoming semester at UVU. How I did in school is probably the one thing that I would go back and change. If I could, I'd work harder and care more about my education.
11. Dress up. I love to look nice. Sometimes I sit and stare at my closet and put together outfits in my head that I can wear later on. I've had some people ask me why I take so much time to get ready or why I spend money on clothes (and by spending money I most often mean going to TJ Maxx or Ross). Answer? Because I like how I feel. I love to dress up and look nice - even if I don't have to. Now of course there are days when pajamas, pizza, and Pretty Little Liars is TOTALLY acceptable. But on the days where I'm out and about? I like to look my best. Ever since I heard this I was always afraid to go out in public looking terrible: "Always look your best. You never know if you'll meet the man of your dreams today."
12. Don't be afraid of what people think. Any of you that follow me on Facebook or Instagram know that I like to post a lot of quotes. I haven't really been afraid to share my testimony or my thoughts on the Gospel. If I find something I want to share... I share it! I'm very blunt and honest about my feelings pertaining to the Church and love to share what makes me happy. I'll admit, there have been a few times where I've been afraid to open my mouth and share something (or type something into my Facebook feed). I wonder if I annoy or if I'm too forward. But honestly - I've learned to just not care. The one day I decided not to post anything, I received a private message from a friend that said, "Thank you for posting what you post. I needed that today." So I kicked myself, got on Facebook, and posted something anyway. Advice time? Do what you want. Be who you want to be. And don't be afraid of that. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Suess
13. It's okay to take a day off. Pizza and Netflix. Need I say more? But really. My life is incredibly busy. I'm constantly on the go and barely have time for my head to hit my pillow at the end of the day before I'm already hitting snooze on my phone the next morning. I joke about taking the day off to order pizza and watch Netflix ALL the time. And one time I actually did it (okay, I didn't order pizza... but I should have!). I took a day just for myself and caught up (probably a little too much) on my Netflix show. Best. Decision. Ever. After that day I was able to do more. I didn't feel like I was constantly on the go or like I was going to die from lack of sleep. Obviously you'll have to suffer the consequences of taking a day off... but sometimes I think it's worth it. Just don't do it too often ;).
14. Just read your scriptures. (That meme made me laugh way too hard) Just do it. I know, it's hard. It takes time. But oh is it important. My scriptures have collected dust while they sat on the dresser way too many times and I've read 1 Nephi more times than I want to even admit (due to starting over and over and over again). But I've seen just how important scripture study can be and is (I wrote a blog post on it - you should check it out by clicking this link!). I've received numerous blessings that have counseled me to seriously study the Book of Mormon. The times when I'm really good at it, I've been able to see how dramatically my life improves. How much happier I become and how much easier it is to stay strong. My life has been enormously blessed because of the Book of Mormon. I promise it's worth it to take the time to read them - your life will change once you begin a serious study.
16. Live in the moment. Look forward with caution but definitely DON'T live in the past. Because the past is not who you are anymore (here's another post I wrote about this). Much of who I am today is because of what's happened in my past and I wouldn't go back to change a single thing. However, there have been many times where I've looked back regrettingly (I'm aware this isn't a word) - wishing I could go back and change it all. Obviously that is literally impossible. I've come to find that I can be an amazing individual TODAY despite my past mistakes and decisions. I've also made the mistake of looking forward too longingly (refer back to #1). I'm very impatient and want things now. I wish I didn't have to wait... but I do. Looking forward too far has done me no good, though. I've found that I need to have complete and total trust in the Lord - His plan is far better than what I have in mind.
17. A day without a phone is a good day. When I turned 18 I got my first smart phone. I felt super cool. Along with the phone, we purchased a plan that would allow us to replace the phone at any time within two years for a small fee. I cherished and loved my phone and promised to be careful with it so that I wouldn't ever have to buy a replacement. Two years later and I'm on my sixth phone. The first one cracked. The second fell in the toilet. Third and fourth had similar stories. The fifth phone I decided to try and replace the screen myself (not recommended). I was phone-less for a few days as I awaited my sixth phone in the mail. Initially, my chest tightened and I thought, "Holy cow. I don't have a phone for like, three days!! What am I gonna do?!" Okay. I'm not that glued to my phone. But I did have a mini five second freak out before I realized that going without my phone was actually going to okay. I would not die. And actually... it was fantastic! I didn't feel the constant need to scroll through my Facebook news feed or check for an incoming text message. It was actually quite refreshing and relaxing. I'm not sure why we always feel the constant need to have our phones glued to the palms of our hands - it's actually quite sad. By spending so much time on our phones we lose precious time that could be spent doing other things of MUCH greater value. We miss out on memories and moments that are experienced when our eyes are not attached to our small screens. My advice? Turn it down. Put it away. Heck - turn it off! #17: LIVE IN THE MOMENT!
18. Write. I love to write. My blog is proof of this. I have a personal and scripture journal that I write in quite frequently. I find that I pay attention and remember things more when I'm writing them down. Putting my thoughts on paper helps me to think more clearly and understand things better. A few years ago, I began an electronic journal for my future children. It's filled with life experiences and advice that I would give to them if they were to ever go through the same things (i.e. how I would act differently, what I wished I would have done, etc.). I find that as I've written things down, I'm able to see my progress individually and make goals to better myself. My advice? Write. Write everything down. Write the good and the bad. The happy and sad. Just write.
19. Everybody's got something. Sometimes I look at people and think, "Man. They have it all. And they've never struggled with a thing in their life. Lucky them." I've been slapped in the face for this quite a few times... because everybody's got something. Whether that "something" is you got a bad grade on your math final or you're struggling with an addiction... everybody's got something. Something that is hard for them. Something that is unfair for them. Just because it may seem like a "piece of cake" to me doesn't mean it is for somebody else. God has created a beautiful life uniquely for each and every single one of us. The struggles and trials we go through individually are for our own personal growth and development. I go through what I go through so I can be who I need to be. And that's the same for everyone around me.
20. "Keep your chin up". When I was in junior high, my parents told me that if I joined the track team they'd buy me an mp3 player. OBVIOUSLY I joined the team! I mean, who doesn't want an mp3 player...??! Anyways. I'm the not the best runner ever - running is definitely not my thing. One day I was feeling discouraged about my performance on the team - I was always the last person and always had the slowest time. After sharing this with my dad, he told me that whenever I was having a difficult time while running, I needed to take a deep breath, put my chin up, and say "I got this". Since then, there have been numerous times when he's told me to "keep your chin up", and every time I have a difficult decision to make or am having a rough day, I remember those four words. We're all going to have a rough day - it's inevitable. We'll all be faced with decisions of what is "good, better and best" and it will be hard to choose which direction to travel in. I find hope and peace in knowing that I have someone by my side that knows what it's all like. I have a Savior that has been through any and everything. Just remember to keep your chin up... we're in God's hands and He won't let us down. With Him, we cannot fail.
And a little something extra....
21. The Church is cool. I'll admit, when I was younger I sort of wished I didn't know about the Church so that I could do whatever the heck I wanted. I'd often think, "If I weren't a Mormon I could [insert something not so great]". I sometimes wished I could go get a hamburger on Sunday or watch a movie I probably shouldn't. I'm happy to say I never did anything ridiculously stupid! But it did take a really long time for me to actually want to follow the standards of the Church. It took me a long time to want to read my scriptures and to want to go to Church. It took me a long time to want to pay my tithing or to want to pray. I did everything I was supposed to do because... well, I was supposed to. I believed that the Church was true based off of my parents and other's testimonies. I had a basic knowledge of the Church and could get up and bear a regurgitated testimony. Eventually I decided I needed to figure this Church thing out for myself - so I started doing everything I knew to do. I began reading my scriptures more. I met with my bishop. I began listening to conference talks and praying. I attended Church meetings and functions. Slowly but surely, I noticed a desire was beginning to grow inside of me (I wrote about this in a post, too). I found that I was smiling a whole lot more. Eventually I came to find my own testimony - not the testimony of those around me... but my own, personal testimony. And it meant so much more. Rather than doing things because other people expected them of me, I was doing them because I actually wanted to. I had found a desire to choose the right and serve God. The Church is cool. It really is. It keeps us safe, healthy, and happy. It wasn't designed to constrict us or make us "weirdos" (although, we are pretty weird). There is a reason why it's called "the great plan of happiness". I know that we will be truly happy if we're following the Lord's standards... especially because we want to.
The past twenty years have been good ones. I've learned and grown and couldn't be more thankful for the experiences I've had. I'm thankful for all of the amazing friends and family that the Lord has blessed me with. Thank you for your love and support.
Related posts:
to the recent graduate,
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